Living the Cross-Country Life

As most of you know, and, if you don’t, you’re an alien (or new to my blog)…

JJ and I have been living in DC and Utah, respectively, since the end of July. We’ve found ourselves missing one another, yes, but we’re SO BUSY! JJ goes out of town (his town, DC) probably at least once every 3 weeks, but he makes sure to be there when I am there (which has been every other weekend, when we expected probably once a month). In the last month, actually, I’ve made 3 trips, including the one I’m on right now.

Flying cross-country often may seem glamorous, but I promise it’s not. Take my last flight as an example:

There was turbulence. All across the country. I would know. I somehow scheduled myself for a flight that went from Baltimore (about 30 mins driving or 1 hour metro-and-bus-riding from our apartment) to Charlotte, North Carolina, where I had a 2-hour layover. On this leg of my awesome trip, there was turbulence, but I luckily slept through most of it. In Charlotte, I walked around the airport and then thought about buying magazines. I just thought about it, because I couldn’t find any good ones. OH, by the way… I was trying to walk my pants dry. That’s right, the man next to me on the flight spilled his ENTIRE beer on my pants—at 7:30 in the morning, no less. I had left ALL of my stuff that I had taken to DC (except my carry-on, which was a purse this time) with JJ, so, even if I could’ve claimed my luggage, I wouldn’t have had anything to change into.

I then boarded my next flight. Because US Airways is such a quality airline (gag me ragged), I went straight from Charlotte to…. PHOENIX. Yes, it took me across the country, but I would still have another hour and a half flight after this one. It was turbulent, as I stated before, and the poor old lady in front of me was throwing up. Not just spitting up, but THROWING UP as LOUDLY AND DRAMATICALLY as a CARTOON! I had loaded up on ginger before flying, so I could hold down my…. Wait, I didn’t eat breakfast, because of beer smell. Anyway, the 2^nd time she started throwing up, I started to laugh. I didn’t mean to. I just did! Then the guy next to me started to laugh… and then it spread throughout the cabin. Pretty soon, the whole airplane was bouncing up and down with laughter. Poor lady.

In Phoenix, I bought a ten-dollar salad (dang airport), and then enjoyed watching the wildlife for the remaining 2 hours. Here’s where this very long story gets good.

As we boarded the plane, there was a boisterous man in line. After take-off, boisterousness turned into extreme drunkenness. Now, I’ve been to my share of parties (as the designated driver), but I’d NEVER seen someone that drunk on a plane. He started to head back to the bathroom as soon as we had gotten off the runway. I was seated in the back back of the plane, in the aisle. This man almost fell over, and then decided to take a breather on my armrest. Reaching for the call button, I said, “Sir, I don’t think you’re supposed to sit there,” to which he replied: “I’m just waiting to use the bathroom...” I pushed the flight attendant call button, but it took him a while to get to my seat (I think he was obeying the fasten-seat-belt sign)...by the time he got there, the drunken man was SITTING IN MY LAP! The flight attendant assisted the man in standing, which was to no avail, as this man chose to fall into the kitchenette, or whatever they call that area. He stayed there as the attendant took everyone's drink orders, then the attendant called the other 2 male flight attendants (what, that's not sexist, it's super weird!) and they lifted the man and put him in the bathroom.

Upon landing (yes, 1 hour later), the man was lifted from the bathroom and promptly arrested for public intoxication. SUPER WEIRD!