Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Positive Affirmations-0* Edition

A while back, when I was at a Young Women's church activity thing, I remember talking about self-esteem. This actually must have been a LONG while back because it was before I started zoning out every time the words "self" and "esteem" were used in the same sentence. ANYWAY. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

We were talking about techniques used to raise self-esteem. One of the leaders volunteered that you should compliment yourself, aka, 'positively affirm' yourself. She said that she likes to say, "I am a genuinely nice person" to herself in the mirror when she doesn't feel so hot. Tyra Banks once said that she likes to say, "I look fabulous in the morning" on bad hair days. That's when I learned that positive affirmations are usually just little white lies, but can sometimes be facts.

I thought this was all bull....pucky...

This morning, when I woke up and looked at the weather, I was shocked. It said 0* F. WHAT?! If there are no degrees, what am I supposed to do?!

As I was getting ready, I positively affirmed myself:

I will not crash my car, I will not crash my car....
My Uggs and fleece jacket are super warm...
I have seat heaters, I have seat heaters...
I will not literally freeze my bum off...

As I drove to school:

Accounting is important, accounting is important...
The parking lot is not THAT far from the building...
My nose is still there, my nose is still there....
My hair will be fine after I take my beanie off, I swear...
There will be doughnuts...

As I practically ran to class:

He won't notice I'm late...
My grade will not suffer because of the cold...
I didn't need my back pack anyway....
My toes are still there, my nose is still there, my ears are still there...
These mittens are not silly...

Then I got to class, ate a doughnut, sat there warm, and then realized I didn't hear a WORD the teacher said. NOT. A. SINGLE. WORD.

And now, as I sit at my desk waiting for my mom to bring me new pants, I think...

No one can actually see my underwear...
No one can actually see my crotch...
New jeans won't be too expensive for me....

Seriously. Thank goodness for desk jobs.

4 comments:

Laura Smith said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA Marika I love you! You always know how to make me laugh!!!

Tab said...

You crack me up! Sorry you're having a crummy day. I'm guessing you ripped your pants after everything else. Bummer!

Anonymous said...

You really make me giggle.

Brittany Anne said...

That was a horribly cold day I wore a pair of those tight dance pants under my jeans. It sounds like that may have been a good choice for you as well. ;) You make me laugh and I'm sure nobody who did see your crotch really looked.